Subject: “The Great Cocoa Catastrophe.”
Keith Claims This Was A Test.
At 09:17 this morning, the Guild kitchen reported a spike in:
steam-based chaos,
beverage-related hazards,
and “small unlicensed dragons operating heavy liquids.”
Keith was located at the epicentre,
seated beside a mug of indeterminate origin,
described by witnesses as:
“smelling like cocoa, looking like war.”
He insisted repeatedly that he had
“followed the recipe exactly,”
while also refusing to produce the recipe.
Moments later, Blue prepared cocoa.
It was acceptable.
Moments after that, Hades prepared cocoa.
It was very cute, and somehow worse.
Then Keith took a sip of his creation,
announced, “SCIENCE IS READY,”
and the mug detonated.
Not violently —
but confidently.
Like it had made a decision.
A cloud of cinnamon filled the hall.
Glitter was involved.
No one knows why.
Witnesses report:
Blue yelling, “WHY IS IT SPARKLING?”
Corvus recording the event without comment.
Hades taste-testing the fallout.
Eglantine forming a silent prayer circle.
Brin asking if “the explosion counts as a celebration.”
The air now smells like
festivity, disaster, and toasted marshmallow cowardice.
Cleanup has been attempted.
The glitter remains.
Keith claims this was
“a controlled demonstration.”
Absolutely no one believes him.
Hades has since refused beverages.
Blue has filed paperwork.
Corvus uploaded footage to the Guild server.
Keith labelled it “propaganda.”
Investigation ongoing.
